3 emotions that waste your time and sap your energy. But we all have them. Why?

By Keren Lerner
5th January 2014

Worry is like a rocking chair. It keeps you busy but gets you no where.

It’s amazing how much of our time and brain space is spent on these three emotions. I personally have these three emotions all the time. Why? What’s up with that? I am intelligent, and logical.

Guilt – Very much attached to other people. Usually people feel guilty they have let someone else down somehow.
Worry – I love the phrase – worry is like a rocking chair – it gives you something to do but doesn’t get you anywhere.
Fear – This is where you are afraid of the future, afraid of something that might happen, even though it hasn’t yet.

So, how can you change these feelings into something that creates a peaceful and happy feeling in you?

Guilt: If you have someone you feel you are letting down, and you feel guilty about it, find something you can do that’s positive for that person. Be careful its from the heart – because you are enjoying doing this for them, not only because of guilt. It should be unconditional – without attachment to the outcome. So just do something nice for them – reach out – send them a text or a message or a link to my Pinterest board about Friendship.

Worry Write a list of things you can do – actions – that can help you prevent the bad things you are worried about. If you are worried about someone else feeling something, then reach out to them. If you are worried about things you cannot control (like freak weather conditions) then make a list of 9 things to do, that are useful and positive, and add the 10th – “worry about freak weather conditions” – and put a 6 minute time limit on that worrying. This may highlight the absurdity of this – the point is, worrying is not a positive emotion. Not worrying doesn’t mean you don’t care. It doesn’t mean you are too busy to care. Just focus on the aspects of life you CAN do something about it. I am an occasional worrier – about my business, how my staff are, and how we will achieve the next goals. So if I am feeling worry all I should be doing is writing a list of things I can do to make my business work more efficiently, be more profitable, then DO then – then I can worry after. See what I mean?

Fear The letters in fear stand for False Evidence Appearing Real. Though you might say fear is a good thing – as in – ask yourself – why am I afraid? Maybe the very thing you are afraid of is a sign – you should conquer that fear. If the thing you are afraid of is something you no longer want to fear. I personally am not a thrill seeker so will still avoid bunjee jumping and roller coasters, but I have become a lot less fearful of skiiing and am glad I persevered! Maybe you have a fear of spiders – but have heard they make great pets! Or a fear of public speaking – and you know that doing public speaking helps raise your profile, puts your knowledge in order and sharpens your sales skills – so maybe go for it! Replace fear with curiosity.

Replace fear of the unknown with curiosity

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About the Editor

Keren Lerner
Keren Lerner is the founder of TLD and came up with the idea of this blog, which is used to show different types of blogs, for training and placing interesting topics and stories. All the posts on this site are edited by Keren but often you will see the credit is from someone else.