This is probably the best piece of junk mail I ever got.

By Keren Lerner
29th January 2014

Life is short - have an affair

I was cleaning out my junk mail folder, and couldnt bring myself to delete this genius bit of marketing – even though when I received it I didn’t think they had great formatting or design in the email.

It was messy and unformatted. There may be a few words in this which are not for sensitive eyes. So, if you feel “this is going to offend me” – look away now!

My thought was – why not give this bit of copy a makeover – just a small one!
And – the concept they are talking about – how important you online profile is I mean, is a very valid one. Put a little bit of effort in, and reap the rewards!

The copy below is not originated by me – but I added the subheadings and altered the main headline slightly.

Ok, so am pasting the message below – with subheadings and paragraph spacing. Total transformation. Would love to know what you think (in the comments)


Every 60 seconds, a new woman joins our site looking to have a discreet affair.

Now we guarantee It (The AshleyMadison.com Affair Guarantee)

As seen on Larry King, Dr. Phil, Ellen, and Tyra Banks

It’s time to face facts

most men find the world of dating is no walk in the park. This is because MOST MEN ARE LAZY AND PASSIVE when it comes to finding a possible affair partner. Ashley Madison is a site that brings married individuals together to enjoy some adulterous fun. Yet many men are calling it a scam, because they are throwing up a hasty, thoughtless profile and think it would be easy.
Does this sound familiar? Did you signed up, threw together a sloppy profile and mass messaged every woman on the list. You sat back smoking a celebratory cigar and as time unwound became increasingly baffled as to why you didn’t get a response. You spent your valuable time and credits trying to converse with anything that moved, and wondered why weren’t these women flocking to you? Your conclusion; scam!

This is the unfortunate reality of about 95% of the men who sign up for AshleyMadison. But the reality is, all you have to do is just a tiny bit more, JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE to separate yourself from the typical man on AshleyMadison to being successful in finding women who share in your desire for a little adult fun.

If you are planning on investing in Ashley Madison, there are some unwritten rules of conduct to ensure you find a date. It may not be easy, but if you have time, cash and sense to invest, then you could find exactly what you are looking for.

Have some standards!

With a high ratio of “typical men” to women, you need to set up a profile that will dazzle (and it really does not take much more time or effort). Doing this will put you in the top 5% of men on AshleyMadison, and your percentages go WAY UP. You don’t have to have the rugged looks of James Dean or the wit and eloquence of James Bond; you just need to be personal, affable and honest.

Put some time into your profile: choose a picture that shows your best side, don’t tick every box on the desirable list – women want a man who has standards.

Type in some custom answers instead of checking the boxes. Think about it; she won’t feel particularly special if you type in your perfect match as being ‘just anyone’ if you can’t respect yourself, how are you going to be able to respect her?

Invest a bit of time

Spend time investigating potential women before sending out a message; you are paying for messages sent, so choose your words that will intrigue! Reading her profile will also help you weed out the undesirable women from the ones that will give you a rise. You would be naive to think that all women on Ashley Madison are ones you would take to bed. You can usually tell by the profile, remember not all women will put up a picture so don’t be discouraged by this. Most women on the site will receive a barrel load of messages every day, this can be highly overwhelming, not to mention the creepers who want to dirty talk before even saying hello! Think outside the box and create a first line that will warm her heart and make her feel that the world is not full of perverts and douche bags.

When you find a woman you think you want to converse with, send her a personal message – no cut and paste jargon! Also don’t think it’s ok to talk dirty and inform her of the size of your penis, the women on this site aren’t necessarily loose women, they are women seeking affection, attention, a little respect, and a lot of adult fun. If she says she is looking for a tall man and you are the height of Danny DeVito, either strike her from your list or if you feel really eager about this one, acknowledge that you read her profile and understand you don’t meet her criteria but think you have a lot in common, etc.

So remember, it is very easy to separate yourself from the typical 95% of the men on Ashley Madison. Just to that little bit more to make your profile jump out and away from the typical and you’ll be well on your way to the adult fun you desire.

Personalise your message

Also, send a custom, personal message to women you find attractive. By simply being a little original and intriguing, your message will pop out at her and she will not be able to help herself to click on your message and CHOOSE YOU verses the typical “Hi” subject line messages that she sees hundreds of.

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About the Editor

Keren Lerner
Keren Lerner is the founder of TLD and came up with the idea of this blog, which is used to show different types of blogs, for training and placing interesting topics and stories. All the posts on this site are edited by Keren but often you will see the credit is from someone else.